My mutations mutations.

 My mutations mutations aren't the right mutations. In other words, I am in the 90 percent who do not qualify for the new targeted therapies. So it is either the old chemo or no chemo. I guess that makes my decision easier now that one option has been removed. I knew the odds to start with so this does not come as a surprise, just a disappointment.

The balancing act

     I am sorry to tell people this way, but it is the easiest way for me. I have not posted for a very long time. It seemed that the battle had become stagnant. Many more rounds of chemo and very little change in condition. It finally reached a stage where I could not do another round. I struggled with the decision to stop chemo and take a break with the hopes of gaining my strength back in readiness to continue the battle. As it turned out I don't feel all that much better. I have been suffering with a lot of nerve pain, some of it ,crippling. Lateral damage from chemo. The fatigue is ever present and I have become very weak although not frail.. Some times I do not have the physical strength to turn over in bed or it hurts too much. General day to day living is hard. Little things that most people take for granted can be a struggle for me, ie; picking something up off the floor, putting on socks, buttoning a shirt, getting in and out of a car is a major task. You all get the point. A lot of people only see the " up" me. I tell you all of this because Goliath has taken the opportunity  to invade again and take up new positions. He has again taken position in my mediastinal lymph nodes but has strengthened his position by spreading into my lungs again. Three nodules this time and they are very small, but still!
   This is where the balancing act begins. Quality vs quantity? And what is that now? More biopsies to see if I qualify for new biotherapys. There are still so many questions. How much more can I do and still cope with let alone function. It is not a question of desire or will. It is a question of how much can my body take? At what point is the treatment more damaging than the desiese? The emotional quality of life is spectacular. Life with Denise and Michelle is great. They are my tower of strength. The physical side is becoming a battle.I,in my spirit is not ready to give up but my body is telling me different.

Half as long as before.

My first remission lasted eight months, this remission only four months. Last pet scan shows progression. More lymph nodes in my chest. A very small outbreak but it means back on chemo!
It has felt good to feel good and have some energy and feel like I am getting stronger
The break gave me time and strength to be able to "be there" for my daughter Lauren and my mother. For this I am truly gratefull.
I was hoping that the fight was over but I am glad for the time I got. It gave me time to gain strength and energy to get back in the ring. As I have said before, "It is time to get my butt up off the stool" Ding-Ding.

I did it again

As of today I am in remission again. My latest pet scan shows all clear, and no sign of metastasis. I am thankfull that the treatment has worked again. I am relieved to say the least. I can take a chemo break and let my body heal. I am in hopes that this chemo break will last forever!!!

Is this the last time?

I have completed 7 rounds of phase 2 and felt pretty good for a change. That is a total of 31 rounds of chemo in the last 38 months. I have thin hair, alligator skin, nerve damage in my feet, blurry vision in my right eye, chronic fatigue and a lot of digestive problems all due to chemo. I have one more round scheduled and then a pet scan on Sept.28Th. I am in hopes than 32 rounds is the magic number. I hope I have reached the end of a very long battle. I can live a very good life with the battle damage I have gotten, however I would like to stop receiving all the chemical disbursements and let my body heal. My spirit is not broken and I still have resolve to continue on if necessary. Lets hope there is no longer a need.

The results are in.

After waiting for a full week we finally got the results of my latest PET scan. The results are encouraging. The treatment is working and Goliath has been reduced, but not eliminated. However there has been no futher advance. So today we started round four phase two and there is an undertimened number of chemo rounds to come. To coin an old exspression I used to say way back in the 70's.....I am going to keep on keepin on!

Better than before.

Well I have done two rounds now of my second phase of chemo. I am very glade to say that I am doing fine and feeling a lot better this time around. This chemo cocktail isn't as strong as the first cocktail or should I say as hard on my body. This isn't to say that this time isn't with out it's difficulties. I am able to function for the most part and keep somewhat active. I am able for the most part to get out and around. I have settled into a chemo routine now and can plan life around that routine so I have a life and I am making the most out life as I can. I have joined a hotrod club, the Golden Gate Street Machines Unlimited and making new friends here in Belmont. I am going to and participating in car shows and have plans to do a large upgrade project to my truck and do all the work myself, the old school way, no lifts, just jacked up on axle stands and crawling under the truck. Hard work but satisfying. A great feeling of accomplishment and pride in my ride because I did all the work. That makes it uniquely mine. Right now I need things to do. I have the time. It takes me a lot,lot longer to get things done, but there is no rush, however I do set myself completion dates for my projects otherwise nothing would get finished. I do not like doing chemo, but doing chemo means I get to do so very much that I would not be here to do otherwise. This is month 24. This is a very special month for me. I was told 24 months ago by my first oncologist that maybe, just maybe, they could give me and extra year with treatment and I might survive up to 24 months!!!! Here I am enjoying life and playing hotrodder, enjoying my family and not going anywhere soon, could it get any sweeter???