Round 25 or round 1b

I am not sure what number to assign to my chemo rounds. It is a new venue so 1b fits but the same opponent so 25 fits. Whatever it is I had it today. I have never felt so tense and apprehensive about having to do anything in my life including chemo the first time as facing and doing chemo again!! I did not know how I would feel the first time and it grew harder each round because I felt so much worse each round but the decline in Goliath each time we checked gave me the fortitude to push on another round. This time the fact that he is back and has overcome the very best we could throw at him. The fact that we are not physically able to do the big power house drug Oxaliplatin due to the nuropathy and nerve damage it caused last time and knowing how it feels being on chemo has left me feeling awful. I am now doing second line chemo. It is second line because it is not as effective as the first line. Goliath is stronger now although not as large and the chemical dispersants left in the arsenal are not as potent. I will get an infusion every day this week. They will be a push/injection of 5-fu and Lucovorin into my port. The longer the battle goes on the harder it is to muster the strength to 'do it again'