The never ending war

Yesterday, Dec,8th was infusion day, round 14. It was also bubble burst day! Denise and I had a sit down chat with Dr. Kengla, my oncologist. I was hoping that one day to be Goliath free and never need chemo again. That is the bubble that was burst. It was made clear that being in (NEDS) does not mean Goliath free. It only means that the tools available ie; ct scans and blood markers are unable to detect it. Because I have metastatic disease it means that even if we can't see Goliath by conventional means, it is still there lurking under the surface in the form of micro metastasis and is constantly trying to invade and establish its self in distant organs.
There is two other problems with this type of cancer. The first is that for unknown reasons this cancer leaves no identifiable blood markers. The post oncology tests after my colectomy were blood tests and they showed no markers and we know how that turned out!!! This means that we can not use this method to keep track of Goliath when I am in Neds. The second problem is that if I take a chemo break it is very likely that Goliath will reappear only this time it will be chemo resistant. Seeing that chemo is the only tool that is available we can't take the chance right now to risk loosing that!!!
The plan is to finish this block of chemo which is two more rounds(rounds 15 and 16) with out Oxaliplatin which will take me through the Christmas break then back on Oxycrappin as my son calls it for another block (8rounds) and monitor the nueropathy.This is going to be hard.!!! This also means back on the steroids as well. When I finish this block it will be one year on chemo!! We will continue to get ct scans at intervals and battle Goliath. The never ending war. I will get into NEDS and I will continue on a maintenance program or maybe take a chemo break and prove them all wrong a second time!!!!

The great disapearing act.

I have not posted any thing of late just because not much has happened concerning my battle with Goliath. It has been the middle rounds and things haven't changed much the last few weeks. I have had a nice visit from my Mom and some good outings with Cousin John on his boat, fishing,shooting the breeze, and hanging out!
I have felt better these last four rounds without the Oxaliplatin. I found out last round from my infusion nurse Luke, that the platin in Oxaliplatin is platinum, a heavy metal. So the reason I feel so ill on the Oxaliplatin is due to heavy metal poisoning.
Now for the good news! The chemo treatment is working very well. We have beaten Goliath back and eradicated most of his troops. I had a CT scan Thursday the 12th of November. The results are amazing. The tumor in my lung has shrunk since the last scan in August and is now being called a lesion. There is very little of that tumor left. All the tumors in my Lymph nodes are gone!!!!! The report from Kaiser states "Decrease in size of left lower lobe lesion compared to 8/29/09. It also states "No significant Lymphadenopathy is identified." If you remember the report from August said that Goliath was reduced by around half. Now the report is telling me that four tumors are gone and I am left with only one small tumor in the lung .
This makes the hope of reaching NEDS ( No evidence of disease.) very realistic. This is a huge emotional swing from being told that my cancer was incurable to the thought that I might be cancer free in a few more rounds of Chemo. Goliath his met his match!!!!

About Face

I must have jinxed it. The very day I post that I am sleeping all the time and how good it is ,is the last day I have sleep well!!!! I wonder if all that sleep was a prelude to my seeing double and falling over three times and another trip to emergency. The doc's don't know what caused it but suspect a small stroke. I have felt pretty good since then. O' crap,I opened my big mouth again. I hope I haven't jinxed it twice.I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but I am a Porterfield, I have the motor mouth genes!!!!

Sleeping Beauty with a beard.

There has been good news treatment wise. I have been taken off Oxaliplatin or Oxycrappin as Curt calls it and the steroids. I feel much better and I don't feel that gut wrenching sick any more. I was taken off that drug because it causes nerve damage if a person stays on it for too long. I still have nerve damage symptoms and we hope they are not permanent. My feet feel cold and tingle up to my knees and my legs are very week. Standing up is always a big effort and I am a bit shaky for a few seconds. I was hoping that I would have more energy and be able to get up and about a little more. The opposite has been true. I have been sleeping a lot and very soundly. I have never known such fatigue. I am not complaining, I just didn't expect this. I will get a good 9-10 hours at night then within being up 2-3 hours I am fast asleep again, this time for a couple hours or so. By late afternoon I catch a short nap. You would think after this much sleep that I would not sleep well that night. Not so! I will crash and be in bed for 8:30-9:00 ready for 10 more hours. I just think that this is my body's way of dealing with this raging battle that is going on inside and the steroids and Oxycrappin were not allowing my body to go into sleep mode.
The other change is that oncology will only book 1 round of chemo at a time instead of a block of 8. The reason for this is my blood count is now very low and they won't infuse me if my count is too low. This is the other reason I am sleeping so much now. My body is working very hard to reproduce red blood cells. This condition is called Anemia. I am glad to be feeling better but this battle has just moved into another phase. I use my blanket a lot now. We moved the big blue recliner upstairs and brought the little one downstairs. I sleep in the big blue recliner with my blanket alot these days. I just hope I don,t wake up to find seven dwarfs hanging around.

Sonshine

It has been a while since I last posted. It has been a busy two weeks for me. A very good time ,because my son Curtis came for a visit. It was so good to have my boy around. My son helped very very much. He did so many chores that helped both Denise and I. We spent a day and serviced babyblue, my old hot rod truck. Curt got to drive babyblue the whole time he was here and now want's a hot rod of his own. We had a good day out with cousin John and did some fishing and went out on the big boat. We played wii golf and Curt kept getting frustrated because I kept beating him. The old man still has a little touch.
It was a tough two weeks though, as it was the hardest round for me. I was very ill and it lasted longer than any other round. I have only gotten one good day feeling wise this round. My blood counts are lower than ever before and I start off each round with less than the previous one. My Oncologist say's ( that as long as my platelet count is above 100 we are good to go for another round.) Normal platelet count is 140 up. I hoover around 100-110. My white cell count is low but still in normal range, but my red cell count is well below normal and hemoglobin is very low as well. I am being told as long as I can get out of bed in the morning then I am doing good.
I am going to do rounds 9-16 without the drug oxilplatin. That is the one that does all the nerve damage and makes me hot -cold sensitive. Hopefully I will feel better this next series of chemo. We will do another scan sometime in October. So the battle continues. I will continue to fight. I will get up and out of bed every morning as I have done so far and take the fight to the next level until Goliath can no longer go as far as me!!!

Wrapped in Love

I thank everybody for donateing a patch for my quilt. It is very special. You know what they say about the old and the young. I love my new blanky!!

I especialy thank Denise for this special gift. Denise came up with the idea, got everybody to come up with a special patch of cloth that had someting paticular to them. She then set about laying out the patches. It goes from center out, with my favorite picture taken at my sons wedding. It is of Me, Denise, My eldest Daughter Rachael on my left, my son Curtis, My daughters, Lauren to Curts left and Michelle.From there it is Mom on top, Dad underneath, Denise to the left and Karyn, my sister to the right. Surrounding that are my children's, then grandchildren's, son in laws , Mother and Father in laws, Brother and sister in laws, nieces, nephews, aunt, uncle's and even the dog Shelby. It is a beautiful piece of craftmanship and is surrounded in blue and black trim, my favorite colors. Denise took weeks to hand craft and sew this quilt for me. Making this quilt was a true labor of love. I can not exspress how much this quilt means to me. I am truly wrapped in love!!

A great day on the Delta.



I am glad to say that today is day four, Friday of round seven ,usually a hard day and I am feeling pretty good. The first four day's of each round are steroid days and I usually feel mentally whacked as well as physically rough. So far I am feeling O.K.

I spent the last couple of day's hanging with cousin John. Wednesday I just hung out in John's garage as he was working on his neighbours boat trailer. John and Don did all the work and I just sat around and played with the dogs ( I brought my my dog Shelby over to play with Bear, John's dog)It felt good to be out of the house enjoy friendship and getting to do guy stuff.!

Thursday was a great day. I got unhooked from my infusion bottle(always a good thing) and I went from the infusion center straight to John's house and picked him up in Babyblue(my hotrod truck) and John drove us out to Holland Tract Marina where he births his beautiful 30ft, Trojan boat. It is a dream boat. Flying bridge, fabulous cabin, great back deck, full canvas and twin motors. We are talking styling!!! We slipped out of it's birth around 10:00am and cruised out to John,s favorite fishing spot. John let me have the helm on the out bound leg . It's a thrill being up on that flying bridge looking over the bow and cruising such a beautiful craft. We anchored up and set about fishing off the back deck. Sitting in nice chairs, drink in hand or in the refrigerator, gently swinging on the anchor. I do enjoy fishing with John, he just loves fishing and gets excited every time he put is line in the water. He is just fun!! I brought leftover pot roast and taters for lunch which John warmed up in the micro wave and we grubbed up pretty good around noon and took a small fishing break at slack water. Shortly after lunch the tide changed and the fishing began again. We pulled anchor around 2:00pm because we ran out of bait. We fed the little strippers mostly but John caught a couple 16 inchers. Keepers have to be at least 18 inches. Maybe it is a good thing we ran out of bait or we might still be out there.!! I am looking forward to my son Curt's visit which is comming up in a couple of weeks, We are going out with John and hopefully Andrew for a fishing trip on the that beautiful boat. That is the start of the fall stripper run. Maybe we will get the big one!!!

Fiasco for three hundred ...Please Bob.

What was ..David stay in hospital?



I ended up having an over night stay in hospital Saturday night. It began with me believing that the people in the hospital, like Doctors and nurses would actually know what they doing. Saturday suddenly my blood pressure went whacko and sky rocketed to dangerously high levels and stayed up for a long time. I told Denise to take into hospital when my blood pressure was at 177/133 and holding. I got light headed, it was hard to breath, my hands swelled up,and I needed to sit down. I am thinking blood clot or stroke or may be even heart attack. All the instructions on what to do in case you need urgent care I have received either in paperwork or verbally from my oncology nurse. On weekends call the advice nurse. Well we both tried. Denise phoned on her cell phone from the house and we were on hold all the way to the hospital. We were in line at emergency when the advice nurse finally came online. Her advice was to go to emergency. we informed them up front that I was an oncology patient and was receiving chemo. They immediately isolated me. We waited two hours to get moved into a room . We arrived at 11:00 am and it is now 1:00pm. I had to undress and get into the hospital gown and get on the gurney. They are like airline seats to me only they are flat. I am way to big and my feet hang over and my ass goes numb and I am very uncomfortable.

Diagnosis started with the insertion of an IV needle . Apparently no one is qualified to access my port so I had to endure getting stuck seven or eight times in the course of the stay. Well it took a couple of long attempts and they finally got one established in my left hand. I hate IV needles because I am a very hard stick. Now going on 2:00pm a blood sample is drawn. We had to wait a couple more hours to get back the labs on the blood work. It was decided that everything was ok but very low except my hemoglobin. It had dropped from 16 to 10 in just two weeks. Doc was concerned that I was having a blood loss.Doc however ordered both a chest x-ray and then a c/t scan to rule out blood clots in the lung. The x-ray was uneventful but the c/t scan almost broke my right shoulder. I have had several c/t scans and told the tech that I could not put my right arm up due to a replaced shoulder joint. I had to have it down to my side. He was told three times. After he got me positioned on the part that you lay on he had me put both arms up. He asked if I could do this? I replied, yes but only if this is as far as it will go. I can not rotate my shoulder further back. Ok he said and went to his control booth and pushed the "IN" button and In we started to go rotating my arm back. I screamed at the top of my lungs to stop. I kicked the machine ,I yelled NO ,NO, NO, STOP ,STOP ,STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! The blithering idiot came running out of his booth asking Whats the matter? Boy did I have a few choice words for him!!! After all this it is now 9:00pm . Both scans showed clear. Doc now decided to do a manual rectal exam and he didn't even buy me a drink! He said I had gross bleeding and that he was going to admit me over night and turn me over to a gastroiterologist and that I needed a blood transfusion. Another blood draw was done prior to admittance.
I finally arrived at room 331 ,a private room no less ,at around 11;30pm. Poor Denise was with me for all of this She however got to slip out around 5:00pm or so for a bite to eat. I however have not had any thing to eat or drink since 9:00 that morning. Needless to say, I was getting hungry and grouchy. Food was about the only thing on my mind now. Just feed me,please! You know it's bad when all I can think about is food and not sex.!! Damn, have things changed!!!
I was put on a no food or drink order until I get an all clear from the gut DR. which wasn't going to a happen until later that morning. Now at near 2:00 am the nurse came in with the blood and hooked me up and actually started the transfusion before checking the computer.She, in a panic had to stop the transfusion because my hemoglobin count had gone up on its own and was now high enough not to need the transfusion. They were going to give me two pints blood. The first pint is now ruined and has do be wasted. The second can be returned and kept.
After all this and talking to the gut DR. and the house DR. that there was nothing really wrong except that all of my problems are side affects of the chemo. That high blood pressure spikes and bleeding from the rectum are normal. It makes me think if the cancer doesn't kill me the treatment will.
I took round 7 today. My blood count was very low and it fell a lot from round 6. I will probably need a transfusion or maybe take a week off before round eight can commence. The chemo is taking it's toll. My oncologist will take me off the Oxailplatin for round 9-16, then back on for round 16-24. Wow, how many rounds can I do!!!!

The middle rounds.

Although I had great news last week I still have to put in the hard work of the middle rounds. It is becoming fairly consistent in the progression of each round. The progression roughly goes, Infusion day starts with me feeling my best but ends feeling weird and its the first of four steroid days. Day two-seven gets worse each day. The chemo is doing it's job. By day five or six, well those are my really hard days. But then comes buttermilk day. That day is midday, day seven this round. It is where I finally feel by body start to over come the chemo and start to recover. I can drink buttermilk the magical elixir. Although I am ahead on the score card, this fight is not over by a long way!

My Cousin Wayne came to visit for Saturday night and Sunday morning. It was a great visit and we made the most of every moment!We talked about family,life,music and took a little cruise in the hot rod and saw some of the delta. It was over way to fast!

Extra Extra Read all about it!!!!
Home troops are winning major battle!!!

I recieved the first scouting report yesterday while recieving round 6 at the infusion department.
We have reduced Goliaths troops by 50%, yes you read it right ,by half. All my tumors have been reduced !!!!!!
The tumor in my lung was 28x24 mm and is now 16x12mm.
The biggest tumor is the mediastinum ( the one in my chest right under where the windpipe branches to each lung.) was 54x26mm and is now 25x15mm.
The pretreachel aggregate were 30x19 and now are 23x15. These are the two tumors on the left side of my neck next to the windpipe.
The tumor on the right side of my neck next to the windpipe has shrunk as well. the report just states,( other indivual nodes are smaller as well.)
The report also states,(No new pathological or enlarged lymph nodes or masses seen at this time.)

The good news continues in the fact that so far my body has been able to keep up with reproducing both white and red blood cells . Both are staying in the slightly low but normal range. All other perameters with my labs are good.
The report also shows that Goliath has not spread into my liver

What does this mean. It means that the chemical attacks are devistating Goliaths minions and his supply lines are failing and he has no reinforcements to deploy.
We on the other hand are reproducing reinforcments and able to deploy them and our supply lines are strong!
This goes to show that we are winning the battle right now. This does not mean we have won the war!! There is still a long way to go, However I did state that at round four we were turning the tide. This first report deepens the resolve of this awakend giant. It makes everthing I am going through worth it!!!
We were exspecting to just hold Goliath back and stall him for a while. A really good report would have been that we are giving him a good pounding and beat him back a little.
This report is over whelmingly good news. This is even beyond my Dr.s exspectations. She e-mailed with with the good news rather than wait until the 31st of Aug when we have an appointment.
I am highly encouraged now and plan to carry on the fight.

All the prayers and good wishes and positve thoughts from all my family,friends and well wishers are definatly proofing positive! The proof is in the numbers. I feel it in my being daily and want to thank every one . It is all this love and support that give me the resolve. My support network is very large and I apreciate it greatly. I apreciate each and every one of you. I am fortunate to have so many love and care for me! Let's keep it up!! WE, I mean all of us are winning. I Love you all.Thanks.

A recon on Goliath.

Today I had a C/T scan. A mid-battle scouting report on the enemies strength. We will review the scan on the 31st of Aug when I visit my oncologist. We will under go another chemical attack, round 6, and then assess the battle damage. We hope of course that we have destroyed a vast amount of Goliaths troops while taking on minimum damage to our self!
I said after my last infusion day that I was getting accustom to the drugs and that I didn't notice the side affects accumulating, well I was wrong!!! These last two weeks have been awful. There has not been a day that my innards haven't hurt. I don't mean just my digestive tract, I mean everything inside of me. My lungs, my heart, my kidneys, my liver, my joints,my muscles. I find it hard to breath, like there is weight on my chest and my heart pounds hard and my blood pressure sky rockets. I feel my blood pulsing against my veins and artery's and with each pulse the pain increases. I feel very heavy and my muscles very week. It is like lifting weights just to stand up. It takes so much effort just to move that I get exhausted just getting up and going to another room. Even the simple things in life like eating ,getting dressed, or any household chore take monumental effort. It is hard to understand how this is helping me. I might get four days this round where I feel ok enough to function. I am now getting to the really hard part where I go and let them hook me up again knowing what's to come just as I start to feel a little better. I will soldier on and keep fighting. I have gotten out of bed every morning and got dressed even if it is just shorts and an old tee-shirt , brushed my teeth, combed my hair and have made my way down stairs. I have driven my daughter to her activities and myself around to all I need to do. I am attending my daughters soccer games and other family functions. I am even going to go fishing with my cousin John on his big boat Monday while I have a chance before I take the juice again. As my son visualizes this battle, Ding,Ding, I am standing up for round six and there pulling the stool out from under my ass.

Comments to my blog.

In my ignorance I did not know that the blog had comment settings . I had the setting set at a very restrictive setting and many people were trying to comment and finding it difficult, being asked for codes and stuff. I am sorry that I only now figured out what I did and now have relaxed the settings. I hope to hear from every body now. I check my blog daily in hope of responses and have come to realize that all of you have tried . I am sorry that I have missed out on what you all had to say. The whole point of the blog was to be two way communication. I am not that computer savvy and some things like settings seem to elude me. Hopefully I put it right . So please every body try again because it is important to me to hear from you!

Stuck in Port.

Yesterday was infusion day round 5. It turned out to be a small fiasco and I was there from 10;00 am until 2;30 pm. It started out that the nurses had difficulty getting my port to back flow blood. To start the infusion process they install a special needle that pierces the reception part of the port and push in sodium chloride via a large syringe that is coupled to the infusion needle that has screw/click type connector at the end of the tube . This becomes the main connector for every thing they want to hook up to me. The problem was that where the catheter protrudes into the vein causes a vortex and blood wants to clot causing a blockage. The fix was to infuse with a medication/ blood thinner to dislodge the blockage. However it took two nurses and three needles before they decided to infuse the medication. The first nurse after putting in needle number one and hooking up the the syringe and trying to push and then suck couldn't get back flow. So she had me lie back then turn on my right side then lift my arm over head then turn my head and cough. Hell last time I did that I ended up in the military. Nurse number one being unsuccessful passed me on to nurse number two. She decided after having me moving and wiggling around some more that maybe the needle was the culprit. So she replaced the needle and had me do another chair dance. I am thinking now I getting pretty good at this chair dance stuff, maybe I can make some money on the side with this new found talent!!! Nurse number two did not do any better and that is when they decided that the blood clot was the problem. That's when the second nurse told the first nurse that she didn't know that I was a Folfox patient and that she used a one inch needle and not the required 3/4 inch needle. So yet another needle change. Back to nurse one, new needle and 20 minutes of infusion with the blood thinner and back flow was achieved. All that took over one hour!!Now we can move on to all the toxic stuff which normally takes about three hours. The hour delay to starting the normal infusion pushed me into lunch break time and I keep getting passed of from nurse to nurse and put on hold a lot. It made for a very long day. I ate very little in the morning so I would be empty and not need a bath room in a rush. I can use a rest room while being infused but it takes time to unrecline(is that a word?) put pillows away get up and unplug the stand that all the bags are hanging from and shuffle to the restroom trying to drive this stand and not get too tangled up in all those plastic tubes.

I was famished when I left the hospital and decided to head to Wendy's and driving straight past the In and Out Burger, chuckling away at the thought of all the dismay and comment's I would get from the whole Murray family. As much as you all love that place, In and Out Burger has a slightly different meaning to me. I decided to take a big risk, living on the edge,letting it all hang out and go for a bowl of chili!!!! Taking a risk pays off sometimes. That chili was just the ticket and no ill effect.

Today is day two of this round and it is usually one of my bad days. Today is proofing to be not to bad. I have firmly planted my self on the couch and made this a communication day. I was told that the side effects would accumulate with each round. I am not finding this to be so. May be because my body is getting used to the drugs and not reacting so severely or maybe I know more what to expect each round and I am more prepared to deal with the side effects and take measures pre-effect rather than post -effect. I still have the fatigue and the fog head. That is now standard and constant, but I am now sleeping well, even last night which has been in the past, an up all nighter, was only a restlessness for an hour and a half , thanks to Ambien, gas -x, a cool damp cloth, and the bedroom recliner under the fan. I am eating well and the digestive problem seems to be clearing up some. Knowing my limits and knowing what I can and can't do and not pushing too hard gives me the energy to do what I need and want to do with my family in the evening. My house looks a little more lived in these days and there is a little more dust around but all in all things are getting done, slowly, and Denise and Michelle have taken on a lot of the domestic chores. We are adjusting everyday as a family. We are all learning to enjoy and grasps the good moments every day. There is a lot to be thankful for each and every day!!

Hot or cold?

I must have a duel zone temperature control that has gone on the fritz. My head is hot and I sweat but my feet are cold and tingly and I have to wear socks. I was told I would become cold sensitive and that has happened but not the way I thought. Parts of my body are sensitive to cold are some are sensitive to hot and at the same time! Week one of a cycle and I can't drink or eat anything cold or my throat spasms and closes up. Week two and I can drink and eat cold because my throat doesn't spasm but my fingers and lips go tingly.
Today we had a meal out and I ordered my favorite meal of Pot roast and mashed potatoes swimming in gravy and a cold beer. The pot roast was OK but the beer was terrible. It tasted like metal. All the taste buds on the tip of my tongue go funny but the buds at the back of my tongue seem normal. It's hard to determine whats going to taste good or not. Right now buttermilk with salt is like elixir. It taste wonderful , sooths my throat and settles my stomach. I will probably drink a truck load of the stuff from now until Tuesday.
Today I was the victim of a hit and run. A little old lady in an electric sit down cart at the grocery store ran into the back of my legs while talking on her cell phone. She didn't say a word and accelerated away at a whopping quarter mile an hour and made a sharp right turn down aisle B making her get away. Where is the electric cart police when you need them?

The Battle at Midway.

Round four the midway point of this course of chemo. Things are much better so far. I sleep reasonably well the night of infusion which was yesterday. I am not melting down today. Maybe I am getting used to all this chemo and it is starting to become my norm and so I am not over reacting to the drugs.
Round three was learning how to control the insomnia and the diarrhea. I seem to have a better handle on that, so the fatigue is not so acute. I am however in a chemo fog of varying degrees all the time now. My hair lose is continual, it sheds every day. I am getting thin on top and now have the male bald spot. I still have the bushy beard and all that body hair. I get headaches, sore and bloody sinuses, mouth sores which come and go quickly. I have had to change or improve all my hygiene practices. Wash my hands constantly with anti bacterial soap, brush my teeth 3-4 times a day with a soft tooth brush and use bioteene mouth wash and tooth paste. I need to avoid crowds, hard to do sometimes. So when I am in a crowd, politely keep my distance. Not visit or have any body over who has a cold or flu. I cannot risk any virus's or infections of any kind. It defiantly rules out driving school bus. My right eye goes blurry sometimes and at first I kept taking of my glasses and cleaning them. All these things are minor annoyances and I can cope with them easy enough. It is coping with the big four, fatigue,insomnia, diarrhea,and fog head. The unpleasant ones are the insomnia. It majorly affects the fatigue, and of course severe diarrhea. It drains what little bit of energy you have out of you . I am happy to be able to control the insomnia and whole gastrointestinal problem with medications and diet. It now means that I am tired and groggy all the time. I can live with being a stoned couch potato. Now if I could only figure out how to use this damn remote!
If you recall my opening mono log about Pearl Harbor then you will also recall that I wrote about the battle of Midway being the turning point in the tide of aggression, well round four is my midway and we are turning the tide!

Breakfast of Champions.

Monday,July 13th. My head is a lot clearer today but I still feel in recovery from round three. A very close family friend who has had her own battle with the Beastie described being treated with chemo as being in a chemo fog. How right she is! Each round not only effects my body, it also messes with my mind. This fog takes over and I can't control my emotions. I crash and burn hard and just become an emotional wreck! My head hurts, not like a headache. It is not a throbbing pain but rather a constant dull pressure, like being submerged under cloudy water. The first round I only went under a couple of feet and emerged quickly. However each round plunges me deeper into this fog and it is darker with more pressure and it takes longer to surface!
My mother was here during those days and I promised myself that I would show man sized strength and courage and let her see that her Baby Boy ( Yes I am some one's baby boy believe it or not and no you don't need to tell Ripley's.) was coping well and all this chemo stuff was just a walk in the park and not to worry. Well I failed miserably. I cried on Mommy's shoulder a lot. I am afraid it was very hard on her. No matter how old your child gets it is very hard to see them hurting and not be able to kiss the boo's boo's away.
I was informed about all the possible side affects of the chemo drugs they have me on and given literature telling me all about them. There is one however that they give me in oral form and I must take it for four days starting infusion day. I was not informed about this drug at all. I did my own research and discovered that it has a lot of side affects associated with it and not good one's. This drug is Dexamethasone, a steroid. It is an anti-inflammatory and an immune system depressant. I take it to help me cope with the chemo drugs. One of the side affects of this drug is psychiatric. It causes depression, mania, manic and emotional disturbances. One has to take mega doses to go nuts on this stuff, but my dosage is high enough to cause me to have sleepless nights, and to go a little whacko for a few days. This is also one of the steroids that athletes get checked for. I have no know idea how this can be a performance enhancer! Well wait a minute, there was that first night!!!It wouldn't be to bad if it let trip the light fantastic, but now I know were roid rage come's from.

Which way do I go Doc ?, Which way do I go?

Today, July 7th, was infusion day, round three, and it started out ok but odd things happened all day. First off I left my music at home after making sure that all my cd's were in my case and that I put my case where I would not forget it! I didn't even realize it until I sat down in the recliner to start infusion. DUH!!! I watched an old Jimmy Stewart movie instead. My Mom arrived today and that part is really Good. We chatted on the patio and the weather was perfect. Later that day on my way home, (maybe all my friends at Liberty should skip this part, I migth need a job later.) I bumped into the stopped car in front of me. It was very minor absolutely no visable damage. I fell victim to the cell phone ringing and I was searching for it because it fell out of my pocket and I took my eye of the road. As the light turned green, I was sitting in my car muttering, c'mon man just go, but nooo he got out and we talked. After seeing that there was no marks on either car I said " you don't want to exchange info. Do you?'' He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his opened door leaned in and talked to his wife. I could see her shaking her head yes. Drat!!! I dread telling my Insurance Co. But a man gotta do what a mans gotta do.
My mother in law cooked and delivered a wonderful meal for us and we all ate heartily. Well they did anyway. I suffered from mouth cramps. Ah c'mon I here all the chuckles and all the snigh comments, serves him and his big mouth right!! Finally something shut him up, or a,int Justice sweet! Yea I know, thanks a lot y'all. Well the saga continues. My evening was spent showing mom pic's of the grand kids on the laptop. I tried to print one. Well the printer got jammed. So now not only did it jam ,but after the jam was cleared it won't reload paper. I guess I broke the darn thing and it's new to boot!!! It was finally time go to bed and put and end to this day. I have not sleep at all. Bed at 11:oo, upstairs recliner at 1:54, downstairs at 2:30, blog and tea. till 5:00. Goon night all... I mean Morning all... I think!!

Medicine in the form of a daughter.

Having Lauren near always warms that piece of my heart that only Lozzie can reach! I have a place like that for each of my children and grandchildren. Not seeing them or holding them or just being with them can make that special heart part ache!!!
Having my children live so far away is a circumstance of my life I have always disliked emensly, and when one of them come's to visit, my heart go'es all a glow, My time with Lauren was like medicine, heart warming love infusing medicine!!! Things are much better now.

Monday, 29th June.2009.

A very Good day. Lauren is here and we brought the Wii down stairs and hooked it up to the big screen. We have been playing it most of the day. Now that we figured it out some we are going to set up a tournament..We decided to get out of the house and go bowling. We had a blast!!! we need to do indoor stuff because it's a 100 and something degrees out side. No joke! Yesterday Michelle and her friend fried an egg out side in the street!.

My hair loss is at a minimum right now. I had that one morning where I thought that this was the beginning of the fall out.. I was shedding every where. I went to comb my hair and I have never seen so much hair in a comb. Gobs!!. I then showered and watch it go down the drain fully expecting for it all to go! Then it stopped and left me almost as hairy as before. So for those who know me ,a little thinner than before but not bald yet.

I have had trouble sleeping since the infusion day (last Tuesday)and fatigue hit me hard yesterday. This round of Chemo has been bearable but has hit me a little harder than the first round. I seem to have energy in shorter burst and I am learning fast that when I have it, use it!!.

Hair today, gone tommorow.

Saturday morning, June, 27th. 2009.
I am not sure who is shedding the most, Me or my dog. This morning my hair started to come out! I pick up my daughter Lauren this morning so she will get to see me with hair at the start of her visit. How much will I have left when see leaves is anybodys guess. So far it is just the hair on my head. It is a good thing that I like hats!!!

Time for my second fix.



Two weeks later on Tuesday the 23rd June 09. was chemo round number two. This time I was prepared and was able to drive myself to and from chemo no probs! Even took the hot rod! I took my CD player. After they got the juices going I put in my ear plugs, reclined in the recliner and cranked up the tunes.I had just bought a new three Disc compulation album of blues. I let the music in and let my mind go and relaxed for the whole infusion . I was soon on my way home enjoying the rumble of that hot V-8 under the hood of my old Chevy truck and had Stevie Ray Vaughn cranked up loud on the stereo. I just made it a music day. I took things easy and spent most of Wedneday,Thursday and now Friday typing this blog, telling my story. I cleaned house today as well because tomorrow my daughter Lauren arrives from Georgia for a visit. That will do this old man a world of good. I haven't held her in my arms for a long time. Her hugs are like magic. Holding her sooths my soul.

Karyn and David, together again at last.

Saturday the 13th of June My sister Karyn came to visit. It was a true godsend. We had time to reunite and discover a lot of things about each other. We grew closer to each other by the minute. We walked and talked and shared our souls with each other. We opened our hearts and let the love flow. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. She helped me put things into perspective. One thing in paticular. She told me I was fortunate that I have time to put things right, see those I need to see and tie up loose ends. Thanks Sis. It was over way to fast. You have helped to put me at ease. Love ya.

Putting the battle plan into action.

June 9th ,2009 is D-day. This was a Tuesday morning. With my Beautiful wife who is also my very best friend (who is going through this whole awful ordeal with me) at my side we mustered up the courage to go to the chemotherapy department and let the battle commence. 10;45 and we launched our first attack! All the chemicals at our disposal were dispersed . We were there from 10;00am to 3;00 pm. After a very ,very long day of infusions and chemo and instruction and question and answer sessions we finally made our way home. The hospital/ chemo dept is close, only 25 minutes away and is brand new. I was exhausted mostly from stress but now very relieved that the first of at least 8 rounds was over. Well Kind of. I still had to get used to the constant infusion bottle and figure out a way to wear it. Fortunately we had a fanny pack and that worked out well. I even managed to sleep with it with out any problems. Great, things are going good for the first go around. Not as horrific as maybe I had been lead to believe. I can cope with this. Thursday is disconnect day. That's the best day. I had only very minor side affects, sensations really, and nothing to worry about just yet. I was kinda jacked up. I think I was really excited to see my sister Karyn who was coming to visit me soon. The first round was a breeze.I hope all the other treatments are as mild as this and I can tolerate it well. The better I can tolerate this treatment the more I can have.

Calling in the plumber.

It kinda scared the crap out of me when Roto Rooter showed up with two 24" pipe wrenches and an auger to install the port. Oh ,thank God when they realized they were on the wrong job and left muttering obscenities under their breath. Whew, that was close. After that the Dr. put in the port. More good time sleepy juice so I didn't feel a thing and was I home by noon.

Creating a battle plan.

Denise and I went to oncology together on the 12th of May to find out what can be done. We met with Dr. Kengla and discussed Goliath in some length. It was made clear that because he has done so much damage by being mobile and has grown so large and so strong that there is no way to completely eliminate him now! The word used was "incurable." Yet again more stuff I didn't want to hear. So what can we do? There is a treatment aimed at this type of situation. It is called Folfox. If employed and it is effective then we might be able to hold Goliath off for a while, but not forever. The programme is a one week on and one week off of Chemotherapy. The chemo drugs are Advastin, the newest of them and it is a target specific drug that destroys the blood supply to tumors. The others are Oxaliplatin, Leucovorin and 5-FU or Fluorouracil. These drugs try and kill Goliaths cell structure. These are the nondiscriminatory drugs and will kill some of my good cells as well. This is where all the side affects come from. All these drugs are to be infused intravenously. The 5-FU will be infused as all the others and then I will be hooked up to a constant infusion bottle that I will wear in a fanny pack that will continue to pump this drug into me for a constant 48hrs. I need to have a Port-A-Cath implanted before Chemo can begin. Great another small surgery. This is a device that is plumbed directly into a major vein near my heart and implanted in my right upper chest near my right collar bone. It is an access port. This way the treatment will not destroy the veins in my arms. This port also allowes for the connection of the continuous infusion bottle of 5-FU. Yes I even have to sleep with it. Not the kind of mistress I would have chose. Goliath is well beyond surgery now and radiation is not a viable option because of Goliaths mobility. Folfox is the first line defence. There is another program used in Europe and England called Folfury. It is generally less effective and the side affects are harsher but some times it is used in the U.S. as a second line to Folfox. All my treatment is aimed at extending life. Not cure. So we are hoping that I cope well with this treatment and the side affects are minimal and my quality of life can continue.

Goliath isn't back, he never went away!

This news of Goliath having metastasized into my lung and now I find out four lymph nodes is devastating news indeed. He has invaded three para tracheal lymph nodes, right next to my windpipe and one subcarnial lymph node right under the branch where the trachea goes to each lung. These lymph nodes are regional lymph nodes for the lung and the lung is a common place for Goliath to metastasize to but it is odd that those lymph nodes got involved. This now means that Goliath is stage IV Metastatic colon cancer. The pathology report states that the four lymph nodes has been obliterated by Goliath. I now have five tumors all between 20-30 mm or two -three cm. No one is sure how this happened. Obviously that tiny little tumor in my colon way back in o7 turned out to be a nasty little %$^&*& and managed to mobilize and invade distant tissue at a very early stage of development. So now we know. It's time to figure out what's next. How do we deal with this? How does this effect my family? How does this effect my life? Whats the prognosis. Is there anything that can be done? Oncology is next. I am now fully in the grip of Goliath. He has me in a strangle hold and I need to fight my way out!!

The new Beastie is the old Beastie in disguise.

The initial pathology identified the beastie as Adenocarcinoma/colon. Colon?? How the hell could this be colon? Goliath is gone! We eliminated him!! This can't be Goliath!!! Nooo!!!! This can't be Goliath!!!!! Dr. Ashiku doubted the result and had the tissue sent to a pathology lab in San Francisco to do more extensive test called staining. So a sick as it sounds there was a couple of days where we were routing for beastie number two. Please be lung... please be lung, but not Goliath. Dr. Ashiku assured me he would notify me the moment he got any results. He was good to his word. Two days later he called me in the late evening. All the test results were in. There was no doubt. The new beastie is the old beastie. IT'S GOLIATH!!!

April 24th 2009. Lets try this again. What is this new beastie?

Dr. Ashiku decided that the only way to really know for sure was to do a surgical procedure called a mediastienoscopy. This is where he will make a surgical incision at the base of my neck right at the crook of my sternum. They plan to put me under for this. After the bronchoscopy putting me under is definitely the way to go!!! He planned to go in and cut out pieces of tissue the old school way and ensure that good samples were obtained. He was successful and good tissue samples were retrieved and sent to pathology. A couple of steristrips and a two inch new battle wound and I was good to go. Time to wait again.

The biopsy from hell!

All the procedures leading up to this point had either been painless or tolerable. Even the colectomy was nothing compared to this procedure. In the collective wisdom of the oncology dept. it was thought best to do a bronchoscopy. The procedure is to insert a flexible camera with attached tools down my throat only using local anaesthetic in the form of lidacane which tastes horrendous to start with, not to mention all the gagging as they shove this thing down my throat squirting more lidacane as they go. The intent was to access the lymph nodes by inserting hollow tube needles from the inside of my windpipe and piercing the lymph nodes on the other side of my windpipe to extract tissue. They had to restrain my head and forced my mouth open with a plastic tube inserted in my mouth. I was awake and very much aware of all that was happening. They stabbed me twelve times and dug around each time trying unsuccessfully to get a sample. I have never felt such pain. I was in tears after that. I was trying to be so brave but it felt like I was going to choke to death or die from the stabbing pain of needles being shoved through my windpipe. Please God put a stop to this I can't bear any more! Finally after what felt like hours the procedure was halted and declared a bust! No viable samples were gathered and the Dr. who was performing the procedure said the lymph nodes were very large and very hard unlike normal tissue and he could not penetrate them. Sorry about all the discomfort he said but this was all for nought. Discomfort Hell!! This was torture!! Needles to say my throat was sore and I was horse for a few days but I soon recovered from my ordeal to face yet another biopsy.

A new and diffrent Goliath.

Dr. Ashiku was convinced that Goliath was eliminated and what was in my lung was a new foe, primary lung cancer and that it had spread to lymph nodes. That stages this new beast at stage III Lung cancer with regional lymph node involvement. Not good at all. To say that Denise and I were blown away would be an understatement. We tried our best to put on our bravest faces but the tears did flow. There is no way of describing the crushing ,collapsing feeling when one's world comes tumbling down around them. You find yourself trying to dig your way out of the heavy weight of all that rubble trying to convince yourself that it's all going to be OK when in your heart of hearts you are fearing the worst. A biopsy of the lymph nodes was now called for to identify the type. I asked Dr. Ashiku if maybe this had anything to do with my colon. He believed that the colon issue had been dealt with and all the post test after my colectomy and all the follow up oncology visits along with the followup colonoscopy that I requested to have done in November of 2008 showed that Goliath had been vanquished!! There was no Goliath in my colon at all! This was defiantly a new foe.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!!!

In January ,2008 Denise noticed that my hackey cough had gotten worse. I have had a cough for years. All that smoking. I had given up the nasty habit several years earlier but years of sucking down all those toxins left me with a morning cough. Denise had been put on high blood pressure medication a few months earlier and had a a bad reaction to one called Lisinopril. She developed a nasty dry hackey cough and just felt lousy. Her Dr. took her off Linsinopril and she felt better soon after and her cough went away. She suggested that I see my Dr. because I have been on that medication for quite some time now and maybe I was having the same reaction. So I made a Dr. appointment.

That first visit in January resulted in me coming away with prescriptions of nasal sprays and inhalers thinking it was an allergy. To be on the safe side chest X-rays were taken and showed clear. That was not the problem however and a return visit was called for.

The next visit was a couple of months later in March and my Dr. decided to take me off Lisinopril and perscribed Cozzar as an alternative. Wow!!! I felt so much better almost immediately and my cough almost disappeared over night. What a major change. I didn't know I was feeling bad because it had crept up slowly over a long time and I never felt the change. I just thought age was creeping up on me some. I also noticed that I was catching every sniff and sniffle that the kids on my bus had . Just not as strong or tolerant as I used to be. I thought that is normal for working in a mobile bacteria factory like hauling kids around. Anyway my Dr. being thorough sent me for another chest x-ray.

This time the result of the x-ray was not the same. A phone call from Kaiser, my medical provider informed me that a spot showed up in my left lung on this last x-ray and that they wanted to schedule me for a cat scan as soon as possible. Oh boy, that's not good news!!

The cat scan early the next week confirmed the spot as being in my lower left lobe of my left lung near the spine. It had been hiding there for a long time now. The mass measure 24 x 28 mm. The news keep getting worse. A pet scan was the next order of diagnosis.

The pet scan was done a few days latter. I am now being rushed through diagnosis and I am grateful that they are moving quickly to find out what this thing is but it is scaring me because they wouldn't move that fast if they didn't think this was serious.

April 6Th, 2009.

Only six days shy of being two years to the day that I first meet Goliath with the result of that colonoscopy, scared, uncertain and worried both Denise and I put our best foot forward and bravely went to consult with Dr. Ashiku a Thoracic Surgeon no less to discuss the findings of the pet scan.

The images were crystal clear and there were lots of them ,from many different angles. The scan showed every thing from the testes to the chin. There was four very bright yellow, large glowing masses in every view. One in my lower left lung and three around the wind pipe in my chest above the lung.

Say hello to Goliath again!

Moving on. Life after Goliath and all is good.



Things couldn't be any better. Home, family, work ,health, all was going great! I was working part time driving school bus , Denise's carear was moving a little faster than she planned and was now Chief Business Offical of Antioch School District. The same school district she attended all her school years. Wow, am I proud of her!! My youngest Michelle is doing good in middle school,and my three adult childern all college grads thanks to thier efforts. Rachael , Curtis and Lauren are all settled, married ,hard working moral adults. A father could not be more proud of his offspring as I am of mine. Rachael and Curtis are now parents and I have five wonderful Grandkids. Three girls and two boys. The only drawback is we are spread all over the world. Rachael in Norwich England,Curtis in Plant City ,Flordia and Lauren in Agusta, Georgia. Vacations are allways with the kids. I never see them enough.



Working part time gave ample time to be the at home parent and do all the domestic chores. I even managed to Coach Michelle's soccer team. Girl's u-14 . The girl's named the team the Panthers. It was hard work but a whole lot of fun!!! The rest of 2007 and all of 2008 turned out great and this is what life at this stage is ment to be. I was enjoying life at it best, feeling really good ,keeping busy,spending a lot of time with family, enjoying my extended family. I have become close to Denise's folks Parker and Judy and her brother Doug and his kids Zachary ,Skylar and Bailee and his wife Kishla over the years and enjoy spending time with them. It was all good.

Where do we go from here? Whats the plan?

It soon became clear that all hope was not lost and that Goliath had been found very early and if dealt with now the prognosis was cheery indeed. Goliath was staged as 0-1 carcinoma in situ. Surgery was required. I was assured that I didn't need all of my colon and could function quite well with a bowel resection. I am so full of it any way a little less would do me no harm. Goliath was found in my ascending colon very near the junction with my small intestine. It was decided to remove my ascending colon along with my appendix and surrounding regional lymph nodes with the hope that all of Goliath would be removed from my body as well. The procedure would be done laprascopicly This was decided in July ,2007. We now have a plan and I am feeling much better about my future. This little skirmish with Goliath would be a minor one and I would soon be back in the game.






Time to put the plan into action. August 8th.2007.



Surgery was a breeze for me. I sleep through the whole thing. A good thing to because I didn't get much sleep the four day's I was in hospital. I tell you those nurses have it down to a science that every time you drift off you are nudged awake with it's time for your meds or wakie, wakie need to check your blood pressure. Dagnabit lady if you keep waken me up you'll see my blood pressure go through the roof!! I was some what sore to say the least but a small price to pay to to get rid of Goliath. My being released from this captivity all depended on me having a bowel movement. The hospital fare as far as food goes is not that scrumptious and the portions were small for what I ,David the chow hound could put away. I was supposed to produce a BM on a cup of watery cream of wheat, a cup of jello, green no less and a packet of crackers! Ah come on at least let me down a double in and out burger and fries. That 'll do the trick. Oh yea don't forget the shake!!!. Four whole days of pacing the hallways planning my escape. Trying to figure out a way of gettin some good grub past the guards. Think they would notice if my wife brought in a steamin hot platter of enchiladas with verdi sauce and a couple of chervasis? Throw in a few chili peppers and some hot sauce and we will get things moving! In the early hours of day four I had a bowel movement. A very small one but majorly important one. This could grant my release!!! I ran down the hall way to the nurses station, well shuffled more like and announced with great gusto that I had just took a dump! Do you want to come and see! I was like a kid who had done it for the first time and was so proud that I wanted to share my great achievement! I ensured my release by having one more small movement prior to the Dr.'s visit.


I was released after being told that the surgery went well and that all of Goliath had been removed and that 15 surrounding regional lymph nodes were removed as well. The surrounding tissue and the lymph nodes showed negative of any advancement and that Goliath was localized to that one small tumor and he has been eliminated!!! I went home with jubilation!! I was Goliath free and had my whole wonderful life still ahead of me! The relieve was immeasurable. Back home at last and time to heal. I was in very good spirits and healed quickly and back to work in only four weeks. I had a new lease on life and a new attitude. I fully understood how fortunate I was ! It was a life changing experience and I was very grateful to my maker. Time to move on.

My introduction to Goliath.
My primary care provider requested I get a sigmoidoscopy. A fancy way of saying we are going to stick a camera up where the sun don't shine. She wanted to check things out cause I turned that certian age. Really an ego booster!

The sigmoidoscopy was not to bad and I was told that my sigmoid was healthy except for two small polips. Little did we know at the time that those little polips were really Goliaths forward scouts. I was told that a colonoscopy was required to remove the polips. After a short time in the fart room I was given an all clear and I beat a hasty retreat blowin gas like a turbo jet.

That was January 30, 2007.





My colonoscopy was on April 12,2007. My Dads birthday.
The colonoscopy wasn't too bad, at least they gave me a little happy juice. As I was being wheeled out of the operating room and into the fart room I was told all went well. As I was in recovery My wife and daughter who was only 11 at the time, joined me and were standing at the foot of my bed when in burst the Dr. that performed the proceedure and blurted out "I found a growth and I think you have CANCER!!!"
We drove home from the hospital in stuned silence. All of us too scared to talk about it. We were dumbfounded.

The waiting..................................and waiting.............................and waiting. Do I or Don't I ? He said he thinks I do but I have to wait for labs. Whats happining? A million thoughts racing through my mind. Am I going to die? What now? What about Denise my wife and my baby girl at home ? Aww shucks (clean version) She had to hear the Doc say the "C"word. Life was in turmoil.

Then the phone call three days later. I am sorry Mr. Porterfield but the biopsy shows positive,you have meet Goliath.

Hello all.

This is my personal story of my battle with Goliath.
Great military minds know that to build a winning army one must muster massive troops, have a constant reserve to increase one's numbers, train them well, supply them well and feed them well. Next comes strategy and tactics. A well planed and executed attack can win many battles. So can deception. Great strategist try to employ the element of surprise. To catch one's foe's off guard, unprepared to put up any defence and then overwhelm them and to deliver a crushing blow with the hopes that your efforts turn into a conquest that your enemies will never recover from. This is the thinking of the Japanese when without provocation launched a massive and brutal attack at Pearl Harbor. The attack caught the whole U.S. Pacific Fleet at anchor. The attack was horrific!!! Their intent was to destroy us and eliminate any return threat all in one mighty blow. They carried out the plan to great victory. Or did they? As the Japanese aircraft returned to their carriers and the celebrations and congratulations began Fleet Admiral Yamamoto of the Japanese Imperial Navy was quoted in saying "I believe we have awakened a sleeping giant and installed in him a terrible resolve." He was right, as a few days earlier four U.S. aircraft carriers slipped out of port and were instrumental in turning the tide at the battle of Midway and became our saviors. We all know the out come of that conflict.

Goliath has employed the same stratgy. He has built his army in great mass. They are highly mobil and invasive. He has invaded my body with stealth and surprise. He has attacked me twice, both times with surprise. I was unprepared each time. The first time we were able to repel the attack and defeated him, or so we thought. The second attack was devestating. He was able to mobilze with out detection and to entrench himself in distant organs and heavaly fortify is posistion. He is still on the move!

The arsenel available to me is limited. Because he is so mobile the only wepon we can use is chemical. We have launched a full scale chemical counter attack. We have one target specific chemical we have utilized as well, it's target is Goliath's supply line. The other chemicals are aimed at killing troops on mass. However these chemicals are nondiscrimatory and kill our troops as well. This is a major battle of attrition. The one who can withstand the onslaught the longest will be the victor.

Goliath is a formidable foe. He has the advantage. I don't know if we can stop him.